These last couple of weeks has been hard on me. The new chemo regimen is getting to me a little; it makes me very tired and queasy. The problem is I never know when it is going to hit. I had my IV chemo last Thursday on top of the oral chemo and it hit me like a wall on Saturday night. Go figure, usually I react much quicker. Last night I was in bed at 7:30 and asleep by 8:15. I woke up for a while at 10pm, but I went back to sleep and slept until 6am.
I took Tuesday and Wednesday off as FMLA days, to go to a bunch of appointments. On Tuesday when I had some free time I decided to run some errands. When I was leaving Target, I misjudged a turn and hit a curb and blew a tire. As soon as I hit the curb, I thought to myself I was lucky a tire did not blow, but once I got a couple miles down the road I quickly realized I was wrong. I was able to make it to the mall parking lot by Sears and get it fixed. Three hours and $179.00 later, I headed home exhausted. Again I am a magnet for the forces of negativity.
There is a silver lining to this story. Last week a good friend came over all excited about something and wanted to know if there were things I wanted to do. I know she was referring to a “bucket list” (as in the movie), but we both hate that term. She told me that there was somebody that contacted her and wants to send me away on a trip all expenses paid. I can go anywhere in the world that Continental airlines flies. I was blown away. Why would anyone do something so nice and generous for me? Jen told me the people want to remain anonymous because they want this trip to be all about me. I feel very un-deserving to receive such a gift, but I am trying to be a better care receiver.
I am having a ball working with the travel agent to plan the trip. We have it narrowed down to Hawaii, Bermuda or Aruba. I think I am leaning towards an all inclusive resort in Aruba. This is bringing a whole new set of activities up. We are going in early June (my friend Sara from college is going with me) and I realized I am going to need a bathing suit and all the trappings that go with a tropical vacation. I can’t wait to go. I definitely need a break where my biggest worry of the day is where are we going to eat and do we sit by the pool or on the beach. I guess that although a bunch of pain in the ass things have happened in the last couple of months, not to mention being sick that there is a lot of good in the world too!