Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Counting my blessings

The last couple of days have been hard ones. I have not been feeling very good and have felt kind of down. Saturday was a girl’s day and it was a good day. I had lunch with two great friends and then one friend and I went to the spa for hot stone massages and facials. I planned in an afternoon nap and then went to another friend’s house for the evening. Unfortunately, soon after I got to there I started to feel poorly. Laura (who drove me) could tell after a while that I was getting tired and we went home around 9pm.

It seemed so unfair to me that I had an evening to spend with a great group of people and I was not feeling good. Saturday night was a rough one and I did not sleep very well. I got up for church on Sunday because I was going to help usher. I felt like crap and ended up only staying around 20 minutes at the church and came home to bed.

I spent the afternoon at a friend’s house planning their garden. After a trip to Home Depot to look at plants and a quick trip by my parents house I was exhausted and in need of another nap. I napped before and after dinner at the Beekman’s house and then came home and slept all night.

On Monday I went to work, but felt pretty crappy and left work around 11am. After almost falling asleep at the wheel on the drive home, I took yet another nap and then worked from home the rest of the day.

Today (Tuesday) I worked a full day, but came home and slept for 2 hours. That is the only reason I am still awake at 11pm. It is unbelievable to me how tired I am. My back is still killing me so I am taking the pain meds, but I can’t take them at work or I am too loopy. I am starting to feel the side effects for the new medication. I feel like I have the flu, achy, tired, chills, sweats, and of course I am nauseous. Apparently the side effects can mimic the symptoms of the flu. I do not have a fever, but my mouth has been bothering me again. My tongue is extra sensitive and my throat is sore when I eat, but okay if I just have liquids. In fact I am extra thirsty. I feel as though I have no energy and am sleeping all the time, while life passes me by and I don’t want to miss any moment of life.

I was sitting here tonight feeling sorry for myself. I guess I still am since I bitched for 5 paragraphs about how crappy the last couple of days are. But tonight, I also realized how blessed I am to have so many great people in my life. I would not even be able to name them all, but tonight alone 3 great people dropped off things for me and I talked to two others that were checking in on me. Yesterday another friend dropped off some groceries and I talked to two others. Since Friday night, I have seen or talked to at least 25 friends that I am so lucky to have in my life. Each one brings different things to me, whether it is tangible items, help or just laughter and smiles.

Tonight I started a section in my gratitude journal for people. I have been writing down all the things that I thankful for like chicken soup, flannel sheets, heated throw blankets, knitted hats, ginger snaps and much more, but I find that I even though I pray and thank God for all my friends I have not listed them out, so tonight I have started. I am making a list of all the angels that are in my life each day that call, visit, or just make me smile. Thank you to all my angels and God bless you for being in my life, you make such a big difference, bring me great happiness and peace. I would not be able to do this without each of you.

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